Luria wrote:Hej Lena,

I wrote this in your thread at first but then it became personal, so I thought I'd put it in a PM instead.

About the reliability I'm not sure I said it in that way, so I will rephrase it here so you know what I mean.

What I meant was:
You are a very spontaneous person, and there are both positives and negatives to that coin. The positives are, in my eyes, more than the negatives, but I won't list them here.

One negative side is that it's sometimes hard to know if a spontaneous person is serious about something, for a longer time. Perhaps they will try it and change their mind again, or perhaps they will get bored and want to do something else. Raiding in Wow is like a team sport type hobby, and it is not always fun. There are bad nights, bad weeks, times when you do bad or times when others play bad, times when we're out of luck, and times when it's just uphill all the time. We've had a lot of that this expansion, and it can be frustrating or annoying. And you haven't been in that environment for a while, so perhaps you're only remembering the fun times (there's ofc a lot of that too or people wouldn't raid). And you have a new baby, whom you want to give attention to. This all together creates a questionmark for me as to if you would be suited to be a raider with us. Would you change your mind halfway through the raider-trial and decide you're not ready for raiding yet, that you rather wait until the next expansion? There are two reasons I wouldn't want that to happen. B) This is a secondary reason. I don't want it for the raidgroup, because it takes effort on the groups part to boost, to teach, to be patient, etc with a new raider. And I don't want the group to make an effort for no reason. A) Primarily, I don't want it for you. Because it would make you seem like a loose cannon, and it would give a bad impression to people who don't know you. And I don't want that to happen. Because then you're smoked the next time. I want you to have a good chance the first time, otherwise I think it's better we don't take the risk at all.

Another thing is that it's an incredible difference in gear this expansion. Just between different tiers it's 33 ilvls. It makes for a huge difference. I remember for example at the start of the first tier I was doing 60k dps, and now I'll do 300-400k dps. That's a huge difference. Angie is now geared with the same ilvl that we had in ToT, before we started heroic modes. And we have healers in the raidgroup now, in SoO, that are spamming like hell on heroic bosses and we'll still die, and they have 30 more ilvls than Angie. I don't feel you've read up at all. That you know how much behind your character is an that it may take a while to catch up. And also we haven't raided together since ICC. I thought you were a good healer then, but I could impossibly know that with some gear you would be fine jumping straight into raiding now. That was then, now is now. I may be wrong, maybe you have read up, just that you can't catch up further without raiding normal modes. I at least do not want to start a trial that fails on the fact that you can't catch up: "Ok Nilja heals 50% of the others, this doesn't work".

It's possible I sound incredibly elitist, but I'm trying to be realistic. I like you and I'm so happy that everything has sorted itself out for you and you have a husband and kids and live happily ever after. I thought about what happened to you many times, and it's nice to know things turned out well. I do not mean you're unreliable because you have done other things than wow. But what i do mean with what I wrote above is that I'm not sure you WANT TO raid in the long run; and if you would to come back as a raider with us I'd like to know that you know what raiding means, that it works in your schedule, and that you want to raid. Otherwise it's not a good chance, then people will just think that that Nilja person was complately hopeless. She just joined for a bit and disappeared. I want to protect both you and the raidgroup from such a scenario.

I think you raiding with another guild will be good. If it works for you to raid with them, and you stay raiding over time, you'd also be showing us you're serious/reliable and that you want to raid. If you at that point want to apply to us as a raider we wouldn't have the same questionmarks. And if you change your mind again and stop raiding/playing before the expansion that's not a bad thing either, I won't say "I told you so!!". I like you no matter what you do. I just don't want to make bad decisions.

If any of what I wrote to you makes you pissed at me, that's ok. It will probably pass and I'm not pissed at you. Like I said in the game you're always welcome back to us as a casual. You can always come home!

Hugs,
Maria

Nilja wrote:So many letters!!
Have read, understand what you think and an not entirely agreeing
Buuut that doesn't matter
Have it super nice Maria
Hugging =)

• You joined the guild in November 2009, right before the release of ICC. Like I have told you before we were really in the need of a healer then so that worked out really well for us. You did good in raids and you were quirky and funny to talk to for the most part. You fit in fine.
• You stopped raiding before the summer 2010. You had sold the country house during the spring and had moved to Gothenburgh and things were not working out well with you and your boyfriend Ingmar. You told us you wanted to change your life and playing wow was not good for you. You wanted to lose weight and drive a sportscar. So you stopped being a raider.
• During the summer you posted pictures of the car and a new slimmer version of you, and we complemented you on the weight achievements.
• At the end of the summer you came back and told us you were back with Ingmar and you were going to have a baby.
• The next time you logged in you told us you had miscarried and that the relationship with Ingmar was over. At this point you were basically just logging in once a month or less.
• The next time we heard from you you had moved in with a new boyfriend and life was dandy.
• The next time, November maybe, you had left him because he was controlling you and not letting you use his computer.
• Then you didn't say anything for a while and in January 2011 or similar you told us you couldn't really log in a lot because you were homeless and sleeping at friends houses while you were looking for a place. And then we didn't hear from you until the summer.
• In the end of summer 2011 you came back. You had moved to Norway and found a job and a new boyfriend and everything was great. You wanted him to join the guild and i said he could join as a casual if he wrote an application so people knew who he was. He didn't want to write an application.
• In September you left the guild to join him in another guild without saying bye to us. When I spoke to you about it you said you didn't see it as "leaving the guild". You thought it would be fine to just leave with your main and keep the other characters behind. I said that wasn't fine, we don't store people's alts. Either they are in the guild or not, and you were perfectly fine to leave, I was just disappointed you didn't say bye. You said you had made a mistake and rejoined the guild.
• In November you decided to leave, and wrote this goodbye:

Nilja wrote:Thanks for the time peep's, its been wonderful and so fun =) Many good memories. :') Been with ya for 2 years but had an very long break. Going to try my luck in another guild in order to start raiding again with my boyfriend. Wishing you all the best.
Think playing with you as much as i did back in 2010 saved my life, i was very depressed but some of you really made me laugh again and made me want to wake up to another day. Sound harsh but i was really ill. When i felt better i decided to stop playing WoW and i managed to break up with my ex, lost lots of weight and bough myselfe an corvette. I found true love this summer, we live in norway and im as happy as i ever could be. Feeling stronger then ever and going to play wow relaxed and fun, this time not to trying to forgett all my irl problems.

Thanks again, never going to forget the day that Luria found me in Ironforge. Tack Maria.

Love Lena

<3

• As a reply I wrote you a nice goodbye post (which i've also PMed to you this January). From our end things were fine.
• Then we didn't hear from you until this January when you PMed me asking to come back to the guild and thinking I was maybe mad at you for how you left the guild. Apparently you had forgotten that you left in November, you only remembered me saying I was disappointed you didn't say bye, in September. I corrected you with a cut'n'paste of you saying bye in November 2011, and my reply to you then and said I didn't have any grudges at all. By now you had gotten married and had two kids with the Norwegian boyfriend you had when you last left the guild.
• You wrote an application and I let you rejoin the guild, without asking Ingek what he thought first (because I wanted to be nice and give you a chance, and I knew he would say no).
• 10 days later you had been to 2 wings of flex with us, and in some dungeons and scenarios. And you said to me something like: Is there a flex next reset because i really want to go? And I said sure there would be. Then you said you thought the week after you could start doing normals with us, and then you could gear up for a raiderspot, because you had decided you wanted to be a raider again. I told you we didn't run normal modes weekly, just a few bosses at the end of the Monday raid. You got disappointed. I said that unfortunately there was no way to catch up to the raider teams gear through guildraids, and that you would have to pug. You thought for 5 mins or so, and then you said: Ok I have decided I will leave the guild on Angie and find a guild that raids normals, gear up with them and then come back and raid with you guys! At first I said that it was probably a good idea to find another guild to raid with if you wanted to be a raider as you couldn't join in with us. But then I said I couldn't promise you a spot in the raidgroup later. That it wasn't all about gear, it was about stability too. And then we had a conversation about reliability which I later clarified in the PM I posted as a first quote.

Nilja wrote:Poor Luria... You are just talk and talk and much bullshit! And when did you stop being nice? I feel sad that people stop being nice.
I wonder what have happend to people that arent nice anymore.

Nilja wrote:Just an example.. You asked me to leave the guild and get gear.
Dont know why, but now your saying that i left it? You wanted me to leave.

Nilja wrote:And i wasent allowed to have any alts in your guild either so i couldent even talk with you anymore. That's just strange behavior right there.

Nilja wrote:You'r blaming me for being changeable.. oh dear.. you need to start looking at your selfe.

Nilja wrote:This post from you is just a poor exuse from you'r side to save you'r skin and try to look "good" I hope people soon see through you.

Nilja wrote:I remember all the fuss around you'r brother. He could come and go as he pleased into the raid team.
Disappear for a month or more to come back and we had to "boost" him. And he dident read up on tacts. Just saying.

Nilja wrote:You should start acting like and adult and stop blame other for your behavior. I hope this teaches you a lesson so you learn to be nice and fair to all.

Nilja wrote:And no. I am not sad, mad or bitter. I just wanted to prove you wrong

Nilja wrote:Me and my husband opened our eye's and found a guild that where ready to progress through SoO normal.
And then on to HC's. And so we did. And no, we havent been boosted. Its just pure focus and skills. You can't two man heal SoO HC with one good healer carrying the other healer.
Yes thats right. It's just me and a second healer that's been in the 10 man raid team.

Nilja wrote:And maybe you left your skills in ICC Luria? Maybe you should just go back there again and look for your A game. Hope you find it.

Nilja wrote:Otherwhise you can just buy yourselfe a boost from someone on Silvermoon so you can get past Thok HC before WoD is realesed.

Nilja wrote:On the server we are now there are no boosts. You have to have skills.

Nilja wrote:Sorry to break your illusion about you thinking that you still know how to play. It must have been hurting alott reading that i killed Thok HC and your stuck.
And now you'r trying come up with all sort of exuses because you have a real hard time accepting that i have skills. And you should know this.
Seeing your raid teams gear its just embarrassing you havent progressed any further.